I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
