last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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