My nipple is on Facebook.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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