I'm laying in your front yard are you home
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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