I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
