Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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