Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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