if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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