so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
