3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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