can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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