Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if i can run in heels then i can drive
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
