remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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