my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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