She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
