Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize