we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
