And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
