umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
