Ambien. No doubt about it.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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