And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
