I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
