The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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