just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
