Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
