And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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