That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
