When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i love accidental penises.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize