I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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