Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
