What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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