if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
