is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
