Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
