real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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