I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dick very happy bro
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
