YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
