Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
