I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
