He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
