The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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