I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
