Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is this the sara with the beer cane?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
