I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
