he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
