Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
