It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
