Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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