you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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