"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
