My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
