I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
