Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
