If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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