I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
