I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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