Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My pussy is not your playground.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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