508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
